…to the east or west…

I kind of love the idea that we are at a crossroads right now. In 3 months we could be ANYWHERE… kind of anywhere. Mostly just California or New York, actually.

East or West, which is best??

If you could choose to live in Carlsbad, California or Downtown Manhattan, which would you choose and why? Keep in mind, this is not a forever decision. Just for the next 3-4 years. Or until we start getting antsy again. Please provide your best philosophical guidance and input. It will be seriously taken into consideration. πŸ™‚ Thanks.

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  1. Mom says:

    You didn’t add the option of staying put and taking a job with the financial firm there. Was it Franklin Financial? Is that still an option? I know it doesn’t sound exciting, but “paying your dues,” and getting experience is a good stepping stone to starting out on your own some day. That said–You can bloom wherever you’re planted, and knowing you two, you’ll make your life stand for something no matter where you are. If you had the choice, aside from staying in Salt Lake, I would say move to New York for a time because I want to come and spend Christmas with you!!!!! Ha, but actually serious.

  2. Mom says:

    I’m back. After all these years of Dad and I working for something bigger and better, this would be my advice to you: Live simply and be smart with your money so you’ll have enough to enjoy life, but don’t make making a living your soul purpose for living–if you know what I mean. “Let the Holy Spirit Guide” (remember the primary song?) It’s as simple as that. You CAN be free even when times are the toughest.

    • It’s with Fidelity. And that is still definitely an option. We would be here another year. I am just at a loss for what I should be doing. If we stay here, then I would be searching for a job I love knowing it will only last a year. That’s tough. If we moved we would both be starting careers somewhere we know we want to be for a long time. Clay doesn’t love the idea of the Fidelity job, but it would be good experience. I am sure it will all work out and we will end up where we are supposed to be.

      That’s good advice… “live simply and smart with your money.”

  3. Healthy A-Z says:

    I’ve been thinking about this. I’m not sure you can give another advice.

    I love, love, love the beach! Even looking at a photo will take me there. For me, the sound of the waves and the feel of the salt air represent home and speak to my soul. My good friend feels at home in the mountains and cares nothing about the beach. Others enjoy the ambiance of the desert. There are major cities that have culture and entertainment opportunities 24 hours/day. There are small towns where no one is ever a stranger and everyone is friendly.

    My suggestion is to think about what you imagine as the experience you want to have and then consider the locations that can provide that experience. It’s a great opportunity to come alive in a whole new phase of your life. I know you will enjoy it!

    • My husband and I both LOVE the beach too! And I know that’s where we would like to end up eventually. He need to teach his little boys to surf… “he talks about it all the time.” πŸ™‚
      But that doesn’t HAVE to be now. We could experience the city for a few years too! They are both so different. I know we would enjoy both…
      I love hearing your input!

  4. efonnesbeck says:

    Well.. my two cents…. Travis and I took jobs in Vegas right out of college, assuming that we would just be here for 2 years and then we would move on and find something back in St. George or somewhere even more exciting (if there is such a place! haha). Well, here we are…. still in Vegas and it’s now been 14 years. We are rooted here. My point is….. wherever you go, you MIGHT just be there for a while because you start to work your way up in your job and you get settled. (I think you and I have already talked about this?) That being said, following the jobs is important too – a good financial start for your family. Follow your heart, but follow it practically, if that’s possible. πŸ™‚ (I secretly say New York too, but only at Christmas time – for the rest of the year….SLC or better yet…. Vegas!) Our kids need to be friends.

    • Or how about you and Travis move to Carlsbad! See you there! πŸ™‚ I agree. And I am afraid of staying here for that very reason. People at Fidelity tend to move up the ladder quickly. This is GREAT! If this is where you want to be. I am thinking if he takes this job, we will not be moving in a year.

      • efonnesbeck says:

        SLC is a good place to live! But you’re right, I’d love to live in Calsbad. LOVE it there. Take it day by day – offer by offer. Have you heard for sure from either of these jobs with solid offers yet?

        • He hasn’t heard back from the Jet Blue job, but his supervisor says that is a very good thing. There are so many jobs within Jet Blue in NYC, we could move there if we really wanted, it just wouldn’t be as prestigious as the financial analyst job. It’s just a matter of putting in the effort. Do we want to move to NYC? The SLC offer is pretty much in place if he wants it. He will have to tell them soon if he wants to take it.

  5. Lindsay Goldfine says:

    WOW, you are talking about two completely different worlds! I personally never moved to NY because I didn’t want to struggle . . life there is very difficult, and very expensive. And I didn’t think it would be fun trying to scrape by on the tiny little salary I would have been making at the time. The nice thing about LA/Southern CA is that it’s much easier to build a life here. So, being a creature of comfort, I stayed on the West Coast where it’s sunny and happy and warm, and life is easy. Do I have regrets? Nah. But I do know there’s something about that city that compensates for its difficulty. It’s a magical place to live, or so they say. NYC has that certain something, this buzz of energy, I’m sure you’ve felt it. No where else in the world like it. There are many reasons why people go there and love it and never leave. For me, it was an amazing place to visit and I felt lucky to be able to so frequently, but I was always happy to get HOME. I guess I can’t really advise here, just tell you my experience. The only thing I can say is to follow your “spiritual yearnings”, as I like to call them. And like you said, nothing is permanent. If you make a move and it’s not right, then just make another one! LIke you’ve heard a million times: Life is the journey not the destination . .

    • This was great advice and I love how to describe New York. I HAVE felt that! It’s energizing and invigorating… I never want to leave when we’re there. And Clay would have a great job there… might not be so bad. But I also understand the comfort of California. It feels more homey, like something we are already used to. Not a totally different world. You can still drive to the grocery store, come home and make a meal… Not so much this way in downtown Manhattan. California would be much easier, that’s for sure. AND YOU’RE CLOSE! πŸ™‚

  6. efonnesbeck says:

    Well then….



  7. AnnMarie says:

    Let me put in my 2 cents. California is RIDICULOUSLY expensive. Have you seen the prices of rentals in so cal? And don’t get me started in New York πŸ™‚ I think your first goal needs to be financial security and if he can get a good job with good pay and benefits stay in Utah for all its worth! Cling to the cheap state with nice big cheap houses, good hospitals {to have lots of babies in} and where there is family close by.

    I love living in CA but even with larry making good money and hopefully even better money once he is an attorney things are still tight….water and electricity are expensive as well as the taxes…you want to know how much registering our cars was…you might die. We have to really make our money stretch to allow me to stay home with the boys. ALSO its full FULL of people and I hate to say it 5 bajilion illegals. Trust me, remember my apartment in SD πŸ™‚

    Anyways do what you want haha I will still love you but Im just saying from one girl to another who LOVES california, I think I would go back to Utah if given the opportunity, now that I have kids and am a stay at home mom.

    Good luck on the decision..i know how hard it is to make.

  8. brittany says:

    ok, here is my 2 cents. If you have the chance to live in the city, I would do it now while you are young and free and without kiddos. πŸ™‚ I am glad I did the adventuring that I did before I wasn’t able to do it anymore. Maybe someday Michael and I will have adventures again, aside from the obvious one of raising our children. But having lived on the east coast when I was single, I was really glad that I did that when I had fewer “strings” attached to take with me. If you want the experience of living in the city now is the time because the places are small as you mentioned, just right for a newlywed couple to be cozy. When you add a child or two, not so cozy. If city living is not that important of an experience for you, then go for Cali. It wouldn’t be really too new, as you have traveled to SOCAL a lot and obviously it’s nothing new for Clay. IF you really want an adventure, do it now. Go to the city. (Mom would hate this comment – – she wants to keep you close, because she is a good and loving mother.)

    • I think we have decided that if the opportunity arrises, if Clay gets offered the job in New York, we will take it. You are right, there won’t be another time in our life when we have that “freedom” without kids. I know we will be sad if we bypass those few years. There is plenty of time for California.

  9. brittany says:

    Did you remember that Grandma Johnson lived in NYC while grandpa was away during WWII? They got married right before he headed overseas and she lived there while he was gone and studied music and had a roommate… When Grandpa returned they lived there again while grandpa got his degree at Columbia University. (am I getting this right?) Anyway, I always thought that was kind of cool.

    • I didn’t know Grandpa went to school at Columbia!

      • Mom says:

        Grandpa got his doctorate at Columbia. He took his family with him (Grandma, Nancy, and Dad, who was in first grade.) They caught the train in the middle of the night out in Lund Utah–rode two nights to Chicago, then another night to NYC. They lived in New York for only a year, right on the border of Harlem. Before all that, when Grandpa was at war, grandma studied voice and piano in New York with some of the finest talents. She lived on Staton Island with a doctor and his wife Do you remember her talking about Dori Tanner? She loved New York. It was very hard for her to come back to, then, rough old St George, and Cedar City. I’m not at all against you and Clay spreading your wings. You two are on your own now so go—Live! I want you to be safe and the big city arena does make me a little uneasy as it did when Britt was in DC and Lindsay LA. When it’s all said and done, you may decide that Utah is a pretty good place afterall, and come back. Having you safe and close in Salt Lake would make me happy, but Britt makes a good point. I can come and stay with you and Clay in your New York nest. I’ll take a shrink pill and sleep in a tea cup on the shelf—no problem.

  10. efonnesbeck says:

    Mom, your comment is my favorite and I think that’s the right answer as well…. agree with Brittany. They have their whole lives to be practical and frugal. For now….. explore! I laughed hard at the shrinking pill / teacup part. πŸ™‚

  11. Ali Lindgren says:

    This has got to be the sweetest little comment thread ever! I love all the advice that your sweet sisters and mama are giving! such a big fork in the road you’re at right now.. I think that you will end up making the right choice if you listen to you heart. and maybe if you listen close enough you will hear the sea calling! I selfishly hope you come out here but either way you’re in for an adventure!!! Love you Lauren

    • headedsomewhere says:

      It is happening. THE DECISION IS MADE! California it is. πŸ™‚ This thread was really helpful. I have lots of good family and friends to rely on for good advice. πŸ™‚

      The sea was yelling too loudly. We just couldn’t shut it up! πŸ™‚ CANT WAIT!

      • efonnesbeck says:

        Seriously?????? YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This is a great decision. Let’s hear more of your plans – be more specific!

        • headedsomewhere says:

          I can’t be more specific because we dont have the specifics. πŸ™‚ hehe but I just got a job with a company that I think will transfer me if I have to. And we are trying to get our house all ready to rent out. December 1st is the goal! This is pretty bold putting the goal out there for everyone to see. I learned once that if more people know your goal, you are more likely to keep it. πŸ™‚ So there ya go!


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