Some words from August 23, 2012 – One of my first blog posts ever.
“Sitting these long hours at my desk, (which is a very beautiful desk, in a very beautiful office), I have a lot of time to contemplate other things I could be doing with my time. (Keep in mind, I am very grateful for my job, and that I HAVE a job.) But I think the ultimate goal is to find a job that doesn’t feel like a job. Is this possible? Do you believe this is possible? To love your job so much that your head pops off your pillow in anticipation to get to work. I have been searching for this… (mostly on craigslist) and have yet to find anything that really jumps out and says “I AM WHAT YOU HAVE BEEN LOOKING FOR! YOU WILL LOVE ME!”
There was one posting for a cake baker at a cute little bakery in downtown Salt Lake. Now, this sounded like something I’d be interested in. I could picture myself mixing the batter with a wooden spoon, wearing a cute little flower print apron, and frosting the cake to perfection. Sounds oh, so lovely. But the pay was minuscule… and Clay said it probably wouldn’t be the best idea considering… well, considering a lot of things. So if you hear anything, I am on the hunt. I can bake cakes, walk dogs, cuddle dogs, cuddle all animals actually, play instruments, shop, cook mediocre meals (but am willing to learn), read books, do crafty things, travel, oh, and I have a degree in economics and a minor in business management. I should be the perfect candidate for basically any job. Right?! ???? Life is too short to work to hard, especially working so hard at something you don’t love. So love what you do and do what you love. I’ll be looking for mine.”
Just came across this post. From exactly 6 years ago. I totally remember writing that post. I was sooo bored. Sitting at an office desk job that I HATED. I dreaded going there every day. Sitting. All. Day. for 8 hours. I lived for that 30 minute lunch break like nothing else. It was all I could think about in the morning, and after lunch, all I could think about was going home. I was grateful for that job, I really was. I NEEDED that job. But that doesn’t mean I can’t hate it.
I cannot believe the timing of this, I feel it came at the most perfect time… I needed to hear my own words just to realize where I was and where we are now. I have been feeling all fuddy duddy lately… like WHAT AM I EVEN DOING?! But reading that snapped me back to where I am supposed to be. I am so grateful. SO SO grateful! I am doing exactly what I love for a LIVING! And I get to work alongside my husband. We have two kids who I adore and I get to spend most days with. If you would have told me 6 years ago as I was sitting in that office that this would be my life, I would have jumped for joy!
So then, why is it so easy to get caught up in thinking what you have isn’t enough, or that you aren’t doing enough? That thought it the number one culprit for my unhappiness. The feeling that I need to do more more MORE!
Clay read me a quote yesterday that said
“the gap between more and enough never closes.”
That is the problem… with me, with our society. It is that we want more. Always more. 6 years ago, this is what I wanted. Now that I am here, it it no longer what I want, I want more. I do believe this mindset can be so motivating and it can be seen as drive and passion. But there comes a point when ones needs to stop, acknowledge what we have, realize it is good, show gratitude for everything that we have, give back, and then move forward with grace for ourselves and for others around us.